Red curry chicken is undefeated as well
I’ve been thinking of every woman I’ve been attracted to as a fantasy.
She’s been treating me like an option this whole time. I’ve been treating her like a fantasy.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. That seems to be the best compromise when it comes to my emotions and expectations today.
Sam no showed/no called on me this week. It didn’t hurt. I expected it.
These last two months Sam has been dating a new guy from Greensboro. She was dating him for three weeks when there were problems. Only then did she contact me. That was when she no showed for Tuesday night trivia.
They must have gotten back together. Another three weeks went by with nothing. On Monday she texted me. She would be on town and wanted to hang out and catch up.
I knew better. I told her where I would be on Thursday night. Wednesday night she texted that she was still sick and would try to make it that night.
Jesus. She was making excuses for the wrong night. I informed her off her error and was honest when I wrote that I really hoped to see her Thursday night.
Thursday night came and went. I won trivia. I got buzzed. I had fun. I didn’t send her anything. I assumed nothing more of her than a no-show, again.
Friday night she texted me. A friend had gone through a terrible break up and she had turned her phone off…
I replied an hour later with, “Yup”.
" I knew something would come up "
I am awesome.
My team tied tonight in two rounds of bar trivia. I won those two tie breakers.
I talked to three women tonight. I don’t believe that any of them are interested in me, but they all saw me win and talk to the other women.
Let me cook
I’ve certainly learned that I can make myself feel miserable. I can doubt, second guess and insult myself like nobody else can. I can question my motives, self-worth and over-think scenarios until I’m virtually paralyzed. I’ve done this to myself, usually for no good reason. It’s time I tried something different. I’m going to try the opposite.
I’m telling myself this. I’m going to keep telling myself and reminding myself that I’m awesome. I’m going to seriously try this attitude adjustment and see if it makes a difference.
If it doesn’t, I can always go back to feeling bad about myself.
A woman I was in college with, and tried to date a few years ago, just got engaged. There’s a really lucky man out there.
That was the best night of sleep I’ve had in… over a year?
Having a doctor tell me that nothing is horribly wrong with my heart, that I’m not dying, and not being afraid of dying in my sleep was wonderful.
After over a month long wait I finally saw my doctor today.
Am I dying? Yes, I specifically asked her this question. No. I am not dying.
My blood pressure is a little elevated. My resting heart rate is a little fast. My heart IS skipping beats occasionally. I’m told that this happens to everybody. I was told to cut down on the caffeine. I gave blood and urine for examination.
I may get put on some medication for blood pressure.
When I paid relief washed over me. I’d been worrying myself to an even earlier death worrying about this.
My company laid 16 people off today out of the 180 or so that work at our headquarters. From what I can tell, it was mostly baby-boomer dead weight and a few Gen Xers who were in way over their heads with technology.
Included in the cuts were the VP of graphics, who everyone knew was useless for as long as I’ve been here. Nobody who worked for him liked him. He had been here since year one though.
Director of merchandising. All the products we sell online and in the stores went through him. He’d been here for over 20 years.
The former COO, his career had been winding down. He had been in a few weird positions the last few years. He had been “Special VP of Retail”. Technically, he was retail VP’s boss. Later he was the “Special VP of another department, but didn’t seem to do much for them either.
A marketing analyst who used to work for the bike division. I know nothing about what he did for marketing, but he didn’t know shit about bikes when he worked there.
The second in command of HR. She was awful. She’d been here forever and just hated everybody.
Better them than me. Oh well. Back to work.
You don’t deserve anything either.
What I want, what I have earned and what I deserve are three very different things.
I don’t deserve anything.
Well, none of the women I hope to see at Thursday night trivia showed up. Other than ordering drinks from the bartender I didn’t talk to any women tonight either.
My team won. We dominated. I got a free dinner and a few free drinks out of it.I had fun.